I am going to beat everyone at poetry.
October 30, 2012, 8:18 am
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I am going to beat everyone at poetry.
I am going to use up all the metaphors and rhyme combinations.
People will try to write poems
and I will say to them,
“Sorry, but I already compared a chicken to surfing.”
“I already compared a cigarette to that time you threw up in fourth grade.”
“I already personified your mother’s bracelet.”
People will be at their desk, writing about their grandmother,
and I will come out from behind their door,
and I will say, “I already wrote that poem about your grandmother.”
And their grandmother will walk in right then and say
“It’s true, and I’ve invited her to have Christmas dinner with our family,”
and I will accept the invitation,
and at dinner,
I will speak only in rhyme.
And I will say how now brown cow,
this is my family now.

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